Understanding the Allure of the Scruffy Male Archetype
You’re familiar with the look: pale skin, hollow eyes, a gravelly voice. This type often sports frayed hoodies hanging off their frame and perpetually holds a rolled cigarette, seemingly attached at the hip. They might tempt you to join them for a “chill” session in their musty bedroom, likely involving a shared blunt and a heartfelt Elliot Smith cover on guitar. You may have been in a relationship with one of these characters before, or perhaps you’re currently entangled with one.
The Unconventional Charm
Despite the confusion among many straight men, women are drawn to this scruffy and slender archetype. Consider the Kardashian clan: Kourtney is with Travis Barker, the tattooed drummer from Blink-182; Kim famously dated Pete Davidson, a quintessential example of this unique appeal whose romantic past leaves many men scratching their heads. Meanwhile, Kylie’s relationship with Timothée Chalamet, who turned heads at the Berlin Film Festival in a pink tracksuit, highlights this intriguing trend.
On the note of Davidson, many were left feeling somewhat betrayed by his transformation into a tattoo-free, muscular version of himself for a Valentine’s Day campaign. Writer Amelia Perrin expressed her dismay on X, lamenting, “When he looked like a beanpole who hadn’t slept in weeks, I was obsessed, and now I feel nothing. It’s perhaps something I should reflect on.”
Speaking on the Today Show, Davidson shared that his drastic appearance shift was born from achieving sobriety. “I looked in the mirror after getting sober and thought, ‘Nah. Who is that?’ I needed to change things up a bit.”
While many may grieve the loss of Davidson’s tattooed, skinny charm, it’s essential to acknowledge his dedication to a healthier lifestyle and rebranding efforts aimed at starting anew with a “clean slate,” as he articulated on national television.
The Persistent Appeal
While Davidson is opting for a more polished life – and we support his journey – the fascination with scruffy men remains vibrant. From the adoration for Timothée Chalamet, who sparked a “lookalike contest” trend, to the TikTok hype surrounding Ivan (the gaming, weed-loving character in Anora), the thirst for this aesthetic persists.
Add the popularity of porn star Owen Gray into the mix, and it’s evident that a considerable number of women are attracted to men who appear somewhat disheveled, diverging from conventional masculine standards.
This yearning for less polished men follows the “hot rodent boyfriend” trend that gained traction last summer, showcasing a preference for slim, slightly ragged-looking partners. But what is it about this untidy image that captivates so many women?
A Historical Perspective
The roots of this archetype can be traced back to the grunge movement, which emerged in the mid-1980s. This genre and subculture embraced a “messy” aesthetic, with iconic figures like Kurt Cobain challenging norms by sporting long, unkempt hair and casual attire.
Cobain’s style starkly contrasted the polished looks prevalent in the 80s and helped blur gender lines. In a 2014 Vogue article, Chioma Nnadi noted that Cobain borrowed from both masculine and feminine wardrobes, creating a softer portrayal of rebellion that paved the way for today’s more androgynous aesthetic.
“What is it about this unkempt look that drives so many women wild?”
This evolution of masculinity has given rise to an appealing alternative to traditional male representation. A hint of femininity in a man’s demeanor, as seen in trends celebrating “fruity boyfriends” on TikTok, seems to resonate with women.
Rejecting Hypermasculinity
Today’s exploration of masculinity is inseparable from the growing awareness of misogyny and right-wing ideologies. Data reveals that many young men hold increasingly conservative views regarding gender roles, with a notable proportion expressing discomfort toward feminism.
Interestingly, the hypermasculine ideal championed by figures in the manosphere often depicts an unrealistic portrayal of male attractiveness, linked to domination over women. Yet, research indicates that many women prefer those deemed more effeminate, associating them with better long-term prospects for relationships.
As more women achieve independence and challenge traditional views, there’s a shift in relationship dynamics. Findings from Bumble suggest that today’s women prioritize emotional support over mere financial stability, with an increasing number looking for partners who are emotionally stable.
With these changes, it’s no surprise that women are drawn to men who defy conventional masculine expectations, perceiving them as more sensitive and emotionally available.
Reflection and Awareness
It’s important to recognize that a man’s unconventional style doesn’t inherently denote self-awareness. Davidson’s choice to focus on his health presents a real example of emotional intelligence in action, but whether other celebrated “messy” icons share this self-understanding is uncertain.
It’s worth noting that a scruffy guy, regardless of his artistic expression through tattoos or a mixed wardrobe, is not necessarily kinder or more genuine than a muscular “gym bro.” Society tends to applaud male disarray while holding women to strict beauty standards, often failing to celebrate similarly relaxed aesthetics among women.
Although popular figures like Charli XCX promote a more liberated idea of femininity, she fits within conventional standards of beauty. Current beauty norms still lean towards granting men more freedom to be “unconventionally attractive,” while women are often judged more harshly for straying from traditional ideals.
“Men are afforded space to be ‘unconventionally attractive’ while women’s beauty standards remain narrow.”
As I reflect on the cultural moment favoring “messy men,” it becomes clear that societal expectations for female attractiveness continue to stifle broader acceptance of diverse beauty norms. While men enjoy the spotlight for their scruffy charm, the same leniency is rarely afforded to women. It begs the question: when will we celebrate those who defy feminine beauty standards with the same vigor?
For now, it’s likely that the scruffy, lanky, tattooed male figure will continue to reign in popular culture. In a world where misogynistic voices shape perceptions of masculinity, the rise of more effeminate, less polished men ought to be viewed positively as a counter-narrative. Here’s to their enduring popularity.
