A captivating and expansive review of contemporary studies on sex, romance, and relationships has upended conventional beliefs. Everything you thought you understood—every cliché from romantic comedies and every tired notion about dating—is being challenged. How exhilarating!
According to an upcoming paper by psychologists from Germany, the Netherlands, and the United States, men may actually be more romantic than women. They often fall in love at a faster pace (sometimes “at first sight”), idealize their partners to a greater extent, are more likely to take the initiative in expressing love early on, and typically hold on longer in relationships. A striking statistic is that approximately 70 percent of divorces are initiated by women, with mutual splits making up 15 percent and men initiating the remaining 15 percent. This suggests that many women, especially those who are financially independent, are willing to take risks, while men often cling to their marital status for dear life.
The reasoning behind this? Self-interest. Men in committed relationships often receive emotional support that they may lack from friends or family. In contrast, women tend to cultivate broader and more robust networks of connections and rely less on their partners for validation and guidance. Studies indicate that married men generally enjoy better physical health than their single counterparts, who also face higher risks of loneliness, substance abuse, and even suicide. Interestingly, divorced men are more likely to remarry compared to divorced women, who generally experience lower levels of unhappiness post-separation. Many divorced women thrive—intellectually, culturally, and sexually—often resembling a “merry widow,” while divorced men frequently find themselves grappling with loneliness.
• Today is Divorce Day. It’s especially tough on men—believe me, I know.
However, not all established beliefs are inaccurate. Researchers assert that men are indeed driven primarily by sexual desire (surprise!). But rather than casual encounters reflecting a preference for non-commitment, the dynamics of attraction often lead men to seek long-term relationships as a means of ensuring regular intimacy.
This perspective resonates with me. Throughout my 43 years of experiencing relationships, I’ve spent roughly 15 months single, a time I found deeply unsatisfying. Those months, a distant memory now, were marked by anxiety, disappointment, and numerous lackluster attempts at dating.
Some men excel at being single—they are either self-sufficient, finding fulfillment in their own company or other interests, or they are charming “players,” happily avoiding emotional attachments. I know both types, and I respect their lifestyles. Yet, for most of us, including myself, being single can feel like a confusing struggle, filled with misinterpretations and emotional slip-ups. My own 15 months of singlehood were exhausting and fraught with complications. When I eventually met the woman I would marry, I was ready to dive into a deeply committed relationship.
Sky-high expectations about a woman’s romantic journey often don’t pan out in reality. Many women, regardless of age, tend to value their independence, leveraging it far more effectively than their male counterparts.
Let’s Dance… for Five Minutes
I’m not surprised by a recent study from Northeastern University in Boston, which highlights that dancing around your kitchen, much like Sophie Ellis-Bextor, counts as legitimate exercise. Who would have thought otherwise? Even a brief five-minute dance party while waiting for something to boil leaves me breathless. It feels far more demanding than a gym session. At musicals, I’m in awe of the chorus line’s endurance, especially as they keep smiling throughout. I believe dancers are often fitter than many professional athletes.
I have a soft spot for classic disco (think Night Fever, Atomic, Voulez-Vous), Seventies soul (Marvin Gaye, Stevie Wonder, and Michael Jackson), and upbeat country tunes (anything with a fiddle). Occasionally, when I feel a burst of energy reminiscent of a show-stopping musical number, my entire family joins in, complete with furniture surfing and mops as makeshift microphones. Although it may not be Oliver! level choreography, it undoubtedly serves as a solid workout.
Gen Z: The True Jet-Setters
Today’s young people tend to take more flights than their baby boomer parents, despite their vocal concerns about the environment. While some may call this hypocritical, I think it’s completely understandable. With affordable travel options, they’re eager to reclaim the experiences lost during the pandemic, and at their age, there’s an inherent optimism that often blinds them to impending global challenges.
I believe their willingness to travel stems partly from a lack of fear. Many individuals my age hold a lingering apprehension about flying, likely rooted in the frequent plane crashes reported during my youth, a time when over 2,000 lives were lost annually to air disasters. However, this statistic has drastically improved: by 2011, that number had halved, and it has continued to decline, even with a surge in flights and passengers.
So, why would a member of Gen Z, living in a wealthy, safety-oriented country, hesitate to board a plane? While I recognize the statistics now, my formative views on aviation were shaped by a time filled with alarming news reports and terrible accidents.
