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True friendship is often marked by unconditional support. However, what happens when that support is taken for granted?
A woman reflects on a situation where she initially didn’t mind helping her friend through tough financial times. Over time, though, the role of the helper began to wear thin as the requests for financial assistance grew more frequent and demanding.
Arguments emerged, leaving her questioning whether her decision to set boundaries was right.
I’m 27 and have a close friend who is 28 and has been facing ongoing financial difficulties. As context, I run a business in the financial sector that has started to yield profits.
I’m fully aware that life can be quite challenging at times.
This woman’s friend has persistently sought financial aid.
Over the past few months, she has consistently asked me for help. Initially, the sums were small, around $20, and I was more than willing to help because I understood that difficulties arise.
Recently, however, the amounts have become larger and the requests more frequent.
A couple of weeks ago, she needed $200 for her rent. Though hesitant, I agreed, thinking it would be a one-time favor.
However, just this week, she returned asking for another $150 for unexpected bills.
At this point, I began to feel uneasy. I’ve aided her multiple times now, and it feels like she’s relying on me too much.
I told her I couldn’t possibly lend any more money, explaining that my own budget was tight.
Her friend’s reaction was strong and emotional.
She became very upset and accused me of being selfish for not supporting her financially. She claimed that I had “let the money get to my head.”
Her words left me feeling guilty for my decision, and now she is ignoring me altogether.
The woman now questions her own feelings about the situation.
I’ve always been a supportive friend, but now I feel taken advantage of. While I recognize that I’m in a fortunate position and willingly help out family and close friends, it feels like my kindness is becoming an expectation.
Consequently, she wonders if her approach was too severe.
Am I being too harsh by refusing to lend her more money? Or have I done the right thing by establishing my boundaries?
Am I the bad guy here?
Friends shouldn’t assume they can continually borrow money from you.
Responses from fellow Reddit users are insightful and varied.
One user expressed the sentiment that she has been acting like an ATM for her friend.
Another offered the advice to maintain her boundaries firmly.
A different comment highlighted the importance of recognizing that her friend’s inability to manage her finances is not her responsibility.
If you found this story compelling, consider reading about another intriguing situation where a man developed a points-based system for distributing his inheritance, ultimately favoring a family friend.
