Embarking on a New Journey
As the bus departed, Laura Cullen left behind her previous life. Her phone, resting on the seat of the Lanzarote airport shuttle, held memories of her last girls’ trip—a week of seafood feasting, swimming, and soaking in the winter sun with her best friend. Despite these cherished moments, she felt a sense of relief. She would have to relinquish her phone soon, anyway, as her new life awaited her at Glencairn, alongside her soon-to-be sisters. It was February 2022, and at just 29 years old, Laura was taking the courageous step to become a nun.
The Shift of Perspective
“It’s symbolic, right? Destiny!” Laura shared with me over a Zoom call, laughing as she recounted the pivotal day nearly three years ago when her life shifted. She sat in her novice mistress’s office at St Mary’s Abbey in Glencairn, a monastery in Ireland, while I navigated the chaos of a North London café, having misplaced my house keys. Dressed in her white scapular and habit, Laura’s dedication was palpable.
Commitment and Tradition
Now at 32, Laura anticipates professing her first vows in March, relegating her novice whites for a black veil as she transitions to a junior sister. She is well into her journey to full membership in Ireland’s sole Cistercian community, a group established in 1098. Life there revolves around prayer held seven times a day, with duties ranging from baking Communion breads to completing various chores. As a cloistered community, they remain entirely on their grounds.
Seeking Connection
The phrase “Maybe I’ll just become a nun,” has echoed in the thoughts of many women weary of the relentless pace of modern life. This sentiment resonates strongly amidst the frustrations of dating app fatigue, increasing loneliness, and the radical rise of movements such as trad wives and 4B in South Korea, where women opt out of dating, marriage, sex, and motherhood. It reflects a broader trend—a gradual erosion of real community, leaving many yearning for authentic connections in a world dominated by AI chatbots and unread messages.
“It’s a huge commitment, yet young women are taking it.”
The Path to Becoming a Nun
However, the journey from contemplating a vocation to fully embracing it is daunting. The type of life one encounters varies greatly depending on the convent or religious order chosen. While many, like Laura’s, are cloistered, others allow for an apostolic lifestyle, where nuns engage with society as teachers, social workers, or nurses. Most orders uphold vows of chastity, poverty—eschewing personal possessions—and obedience. This path involves rigorous routines, enforced solitude, and stark schedules, yet it draws several young women seeking purpose.
A Growing Trend
Ten years ago, the influx of women joining religious orders rose threefold, reaching a 25-year peak. In 2014 alone, 45 women entered convents in England and Wales, with fourteen of them under the age of 30. The process to become a nun takes approximately nine to twelve years, starting from initial discernment to the moment of final vows. As some of these women finalize their training by 2024, they will join the ranks of lifelong members.
Faith Amidst Modern Challenges
For those who do choose this path, they face a contrasting reality to their peers. Data shows that the decline in religious affiliation among young people in the UK is unprecedented. A staggering 70% of adults between 16 and 29 now identify as non-religious, while merely 10% self-identify as Catholic. What, then, attracts young women to a life of such depth, seemingly at odds with contemporary values? I reached out to nuns who have navigated their own adventures—those with degrees, past relationships, and lost Snapchat streaks, all in search of insight.
Finding Depth
Through her twenties, Laura yearned for more than surface-level experiences, despite enjoying a fulfilling life. Residing with a friend in a charming coastal area of Dublin, she thrived in a social work career that infused her days with purpose and good income. Yet, something was amiss. “I felt a hunger,” she confessed, reflecting on her journey.
A Path with Purpose
Raised in a culturally Catholic home in Meath, Laura was the elder sister in her family. Her education in literature and philosophy in Dublin, as well as a master’s in social work, influenced her spiritual development. Although she never received a dramatic calling, she sensed an inherent connection to the divine throughout her life’s tapestry.
Unexpected Revelations
Social work illuminated her purpose as she engaged with painful cases of child protection and elder abuse—experiences Laura acknowledged as “difficult yet meaningful.” A planned trip to Donegal with a friend turned chaotic, marked by storms and personal havoc, including migraines and heartbreak. They began watching a documentary about nuns, which unexpectedly captivated Laura. “I thought, ‘I don’t want to watch this,’ but it left me in awe,” she admitted.
Self-Exploration and Choice
With curiosity sparked, Laura further researched the process and began questioning her own desires. “All love requires sacrifice, be it to God, family, or marriage,” she pondered. Each religious order has its unique charism or purpose, and Laura sought the one that resonated for her. After visiting Glencairn, a strict Cistercian community grounded in the Rule of St. Benedict—emphasizing peace and prayer—her connection deepened.
A New Chapter Ahead
As Laura navigated her aspirations, her stays at Glencairn grew longer. In March 2022, after returning from Lanzarote and choosing to forgo a new job in Glasgow, she officially joined as a ‘Postulant.’ After a year of intensive training as a ‘Novitiate,’ Laura is now on the brink of taking her first vows, an affirming moment marking her commitment to a vibrant community of 24 sisters, each shaping her journey as she discovers her place.
Embracing the Silence
During my visit to a Carmelite monastery to meet Sister Edith Maria, I stepped into silence that felt both surreal and refreshing. Waiting in a simple room adorned with crucifixes, I watched as Sister Edith appeared through an iron grille, her demeanor exemplifying the community’s separation from worldly distractions. Just like Laura, Sister Edith embarked on this monastic path through introspection, driven by a desire to engage deeply with her faith.
The Dynamics of Monastic Life
Sister Edith Maria’s attraction to the Carmelite order stemmed from her quest for spirituality and community. Initially enticed by their reputation for prayer and connection, she joined at 29 with aspirations of deepening her faith. Now 32 and nearing her solemn vows, she cherishes the structured life within the convent after navigating the challenging path to get there.
Cultivating Meaningful Days
What might outsiders perceive as a stagnant life? The reality is quite the opposite for these women. Laura, with her communal routine beginning at 3:45 AM, and Edith, starting her days at 5:20 AM, participate in a tightly organized schedule. Seven prayer sessions punctuate the day, interspersed with work, chores, and moments of leisure. The nuns have embraced creativity in different forms, from crafting to beekeeping, and even hosting a podcast to share glimpses of their lives.
Rediscovering Wholeness
Both Laura and Sister Edith have expressed their surprise at how liberating this lifestyle has been. Within this structure, they find a center around their faith that has shifted their experiences entirely. “I see my life as balanced for the first time; this is a slow, intentional way of living,” Laura remarked, reflecting on how her previous life was filled with distractions and noise.
Challenges of Modern Society
For many women in their twenties and thirties, the internal dialogue questioning their choices is constant. Pressures about marriage, children, and careers persist even within the walls of the monastery. Both Laura and Sister Edith acknowledge their past relationships and aspirations while focusing on the joys and wisdom their newfound paths afford them.
Coping and Connecting
While Laura often envisioned the joys of motherhood, she now perceives her sisters’ mature love for one another as equally nurturing. The way they weave together a rich tapestry of community life showcases diverse forms of connection. With a long formation period, potential recruits gain the necessary perspective to weigh their sacrifices meaningfully.
The Realities Behind Closed Doors
Although they lead lives of faith, these women grapple with ordinary hurdles, affirming their humanity despite cloistered living. As Laura noted, “You reflect on what you lose, but you also gain so much,” emphasizing that navigating emotions in such a community can occasionally be challenging.
Seeking Belonging
Both Laura and Sister Edith share their lives with a diverse age range of nuns, invigorating the community with shared experiences. Sister Beatrice, who professed vows in 2021, supports Laura, encouraging her as she navigates her personal journey. The conversational insights gleaned from older sisters offer a deep understanding that resonates with younger generations.
Harmonizing Life and Faith
The allure of freedom offered by the convent forms an intriguing contrast against the chaotic pace of modern existence. However, it is important to recognize the struggles underlying life within the monastery, challenges like companionship dynamics and financial concerns echo real-world complexities. Life behind convent walls is not free from difficulties—emotional arcs and interpersonal tensions emerge as naturally as they might in any setting.
Finding Balance
As Laura reflects on her spiritual journey, she acknowledges the enticing yet daunting reality of community life. “I can’t say I’m fully adjusted yet,” Sister Edith admitted, “but young sister recruits would be welcome! I’ve already witnessed my own growth.”
Contemplating New Beginnings
The contemplative nature of their lifestyle allows for a depth of self-examination rarely afforded in fast-paced society. While the road to vocation isn’t the panacea for navigating dating issues or identity conflicts, it symbolizes a rhythm of life imbued with intention and reflection—something many are yearning for in these tumultuous times.
