Common Holiday Stressors
- Family Dynamics Holiday commercials often depict warm, loving families gathering around beautifully set tables, but the reality can be quite different. Families come with their own histories, and unresolved issues can easily surface, particularly during gatherings. These tensions can put a strain on your relationship, especially when it involves in-laws.
- Financial Struggles Many couples find that money becomes a significant source of conflict during the holidays. For instance, Genoa expressed her desire to find meaningful gifts and host gatherings, but feels held back by her partner Pierre’s frugality. He remarked that while they generally stick to a shared budget, December seems to unleash her spending, leaving him feeling like the villain for suggesting they scale back.
- Overcommitment and Unrealistic Expectations A recurring issue among couples is the overwhelm and stress that stem from trying to do too much. Terry shared that each holiday season, his wife maxes out her energy, leaving her emotionally drained and irritable. Despite his encouragement for her to say no to some commitments, she feels pressured to make everyone happy, often leading to disappointment when things don’t meet their expectations.
The holiday season can often sideline the romantic aspects of a relationship. However, I’m here to encourage couples to harness these moments as opportunities to express love, appreciation, and playfulness. To avoid becoming a holiday Grinch, here are some suggestions to infuse romance and excitement into your celebrations this year.
Cultivate New Connection Rituals for a Romantic Holiday Season
Remembering Our Journey
Take some time to reminisce. Discuss your first holiday season together—how did you meet each other’s families? Did you stress over the perfect gift? Share stories of your most memorable and not-so-great holidays, whether busy or serene. Use photographs from your phone or photo albums to jog your memories.
A Cozy Holiday Movie Night
Select a holiday film you both love—whether it’s the Grinch’s escapades, Bruce Willis’ legendary adventures in Die Hard, or the timeless Love Actually. Consider preparing snacks and beverages as you settle in for a distraction-free evening. Bonus idea? Treat each other to soothing foot massages while you enjoy the film.
Experience a Live Holiday Performance
Look for local performances like choir concerts, plays, or themed live music events. This year, my partner and I are excited to attend a holiday show featuring the Vancouver gay men’s chorus, alongside a puppet rendition of A Christmas Carol. Extra points for holding hands, stealing kisses at intermissions, and indulging in dessert as you reflect on your treasured moments from the past year.
The Adventurous Stocking Surprise
Craft a romantic and cheeky gift stocking. Over several weeks, discreetly add notes, gifts, cherished memories, heartfelt words, or mementos that signify your love story. Don’t forget to incorporate a playful element—perhaps a fun game or a special treat from Santa’s adult workshop. Share these treasures on Christmas morning or at a significant time that resonates with both of you.
Express Your Heartfelt Feelings
Consider writing a love letter to your partner. It doesn’t have to be lengthy or poetic, but the power of expressing your feelings in writing can be incredibly impactful. Share what they mean to you, what you cherish most, and the reasons you would choose them over and over. You can include it in your stocking or reveal it during a romantic dinner—imagine sharing the moment while enjoying a cozy meal together or cuddled up in bed.
Embrace the Spirit of Generosity
The holiday season is a wonderful opportunity to practice generosity, extending kindness beyond your loved ones to those who may be alone this season. Consider creating a food package for families in need or volunteering together to serve holiday meals. You could also clear out unused coats or support a cause you’ve never contributed to before.
Make Your Relationship a Priority
Ultimately, how you experience the holidays is within your control. Reflect on what brings joy and what doesn’t, and aim to reshape the coming weeks to align with your values. As your romantic relationship is likely one of your top priorities, don’t forget to value your partner actively.
Recall the enthusiasm you had in pursuing them during your first holiday season together, and commit to rekindling that effort this year. Like the Grinch discovering the essence of joy, you too can uncover that true happiness lies in simply having one another close. When the focus shifts back to what really matters, your love can flourish in ways you never imagined.
