Finding Freedom: Martinette Williams’ Journey from Toxicity to Strength

Martinette Williams: Transforming Pain into Power Through Writing

Based in Dunedin, singer-songwriter Martinette Williams has turned the scars of a past toxic relationship into a source of empowerment—she has crafted a novel inspired by her experiences that has enabled her to find clarity, heal, and finally turn the page on a painful chapter of her life.

“I didn’t truly process what happened until I began writing the book,” shares the 34-year-old Martinette. “I wanted to recount this story not to vilify anyone, but to reveal the honesty of my experience. The relationship was complicated; he treated me just well enough to keep me invested. Ultimately, it was my journey to gather the courage to break free.”

A Journey of Love and Self-Discovery

Titled Everything She Wanted, the novel is a fictionalized yet deeply intimate exploration of Martinette’s relationship with a man she met while pursuing her studies at the University of Otago. The narrative centers around Madeline, a young woman entangled in a relationship with “Daniel,” who maintains emotional distance while providing intermittent affection and false promises that keep her yearning for more.

“There was a crucial moment in my life, mirrored in Madeline’s journey, when I realized I was ensnared in a cycle that would persist until I decided to change it myself,” she reflects.

Both Martinette and her character Madeline eventually discover love with partners who genuinely recognize their worth and value. Martinette’s hope is that women, particularly those caught in similar “situationships,” will understand that a fulfilling life arises not from seeking a partner but from cultivating self-love and self-worth.

“It’s fundamentally about empowerment; it’s about learning to appreciate yourself and realizing you don’t need to chase someone who won’t commit to you,” Martinette emphasizes.

“Had I read something like this when younger, I might have recognized the warning signs. Instead, I convinced myself that the relationship was normal, even as friends pointed out how I was giving so much while receiving little in return. It is astonishingly easy to lose oneself in unhealthy relationships,” she adds.

Vulnerability in Sharing Her Story

As Everything She Wanted makes its debut, Martinette acknowledges the vulnerability that accompanies sharing such personal material.

“It’s daunting to expose something so intimate, even if it is presented as fiction,” she admits. “But this narrative was one I felt compelled to share.”

The inspiration for the book took root years ago, in 2012, when Martinette channeled her emotions into five original songs to process her tumultuous relationship.

“During my honors year at university, I spent much of my time writing songs instead of working on my dissertation,” she chuckles. “It’s a miracle I managed to pass, given all the chaos at the time!”

Intriguingly, the novel incorporates these songs, complete with links directing readers to Martinette’s online performances. However, revisiting them was a challenging endeavor for her, as she confides to Woman’s Day.

“I couldn’t bring myself to listen to them for years,” she reveals.

In 2022, Martinette resolved to create a book largely based on her diary entries from that time. It was an emotionally charged experience, but she received unwavering support from her husband, Lyndon, with whom she shares two sons, Leo and Declan.

“Our boys were toddlers then, and Lyndon was incredibly supportive, especially when I retreated to the bedroom for writing time,” she recalls. “I completed the draft in just four months and shared it with Lyndon, who was profoundly impacted by everything I had experienced, including the fictionalized account of our own relationship.”

Throughout her writing journey, Martinette has grown to cherish the healthy and communicative relationship she enjoys with her husband. “We discuss everything openly. If something troubles us, we don’t bury it. We offer each other grace. No one is perfect, but in a healthy relationship, you meet each other where you are,” she shares.

Beyond emotional healing, the act of writing Everything She Wanted has rekindled Martinette’s passion for songwriting and performance, which had taken a backseat during her years of motherhood.

“I made Madeline a singer-songwriter too, and I found myself somewhat envious of her!” she laughs. “This writing process reminded me how much I missed music.”

“Since then, I’ve started writing songs again, returned to performing, and even released an EP late last year. The book has allowed me to reconnect with my creative side and reminded me of my identity beyond being a mother and my personal history.”

Looking Ahead

Now fully embracing her creative revival, Martinette is already in the process of writing her second novel, with aspirations for several more to follow.

When reflecting on her experiences, Martinette offers invaluable advice for her younger self and other women who might find themselves in similar situations: “Stay true to yourself. Trust your intuition if something feels off. And if your friends have concerns about someone you’re dating, listen to them; they may see things you’re too close to recognize.”