To adapt a quote from Jane Austen, it is widely believed that a single woman without a partner must be seeking a husband. This notion has been perpetuated by popular culture for years.
Consider Bridget Jones, the quintessential image of the 1990s single woman, who returns to our screens once more to search for love. Or think of Jennifer Aniston, who has been scrutinized by tabloids for years, enduring pressure to remarry and have children following her divorce from Brad Pitt in 2005. Even Austen’s heroines, who were intelligent and recognized the necessity of marriage for financial security, ultimately conformed to the narrative of romantic ties.
Fast forward to 2025, and the stereotype of single women as lonely individuals waiting to be paired remains prevalent, despite their growing numbers. Statistics reveal there are now 8.6 million single women in Canada—an increase of 800,000 over the past decade. In Toronto alone, the population of single, never-married individuals rose by 5.9% from 2016 to 2021, reflecting broader trends in singles across urban landscapes.
Society still presents a narrative filled with whimsical romantic encounters and the quest for soulmates. Romance novels are enjoying immense popularity; for example, Canadian “romantasy” genre book sales surged by 235% year-over-year in 2024. When Taylor Swift, the epitome of the heartbroken yet resilient woman, began dating NFL star Travis Kelce in 2023, audiences celebrated her apparent discovery of her “end game.”
The recent movie “Wicked,” which tells the story of two witches with differing perspectives, sparked discussions regarding the depth of the bond between Glinda and Elphaba. It appears that platonic love is still not considered a satisfactory resolution in our storytelling.
However, a study conducted by researchers at the University of Toronto revealed that the stigma surrounding “spinsters” is unfounded; in fact, single women report significantly higher levels of happiness than their single male counterparts, showing increased sexual and overall life satisfaction.
“There are negative stereotypes concerning single women—often viewed as lonely individuals or ‘cat ladies’ who desperately wish for a partner,” explained Elaine Hoan, co-leader of the U of T study. “We recognized that this viewpoint had never been examined on a scientific level.”
Published in October 2024, the research surveyed nearly 6,000 single individuals across various countries, including Canada, the U.S., the U.K., Mexico, and Poland, assessing their life satisfaction across various domains.
Surprisingly, 32% of single women reported being very happy with their single status, compared to 20% of single men. “Significant differences emerged in how singlehood satisfaction varies between genders,” noted Hoan. “Single women expressed less desire for a romantic partner.”
Societal Expectations of Women
In September last year, Swift responded to stigma surrounding single women by embracing the label “childless cat lady” in support of Kamala Harris’s presidential campaign. This was in direct rebuttal to controversial comments made by politician J.D. Vance, which implicated women without children as responsible for societal woes. Such derogatory stereotypes hearken back to the medieval notion of portraying independent women as witches.
This mindset underscores a prevailing belief that a woman’s primary role in society revolves around purchasing necessities for her family. Yet, projections indicate that women will oversee a remarkable $40 trillion in consumer spending worldwide by 2030, and single women in the U.S. currently own 2.7 million more homes than single men.
Recognizing Happiness in Singlehood
The University of Toronto’s research garnered international attention, including from author Marianne Power in the U.K. She found validation in the results, stating, “It’s refreshing and uplifting to see studies showing that, yes, we are doing well.” Power, who has spent most of her life single, reflected on the stigma that once made her question her happiness. “I often wondered if I was merely in denial about my joy.”
Power’s book, “Love Me,” explores her journey toward embracing her singlehood and challenges the narrative that being single is some tragic misstep in life. She hopes to help reshape perceptions around single women, promoting the idea that being single in one’s 40s is not indicative of having lived life incorrectly.
Despite the considerable societal pressure to find ‘The One,’ Power contends that many women of her generation have experienced a radical shift in how they view single life and happiness, stating, “As women, we’ve often been taught that our value lies in being ‘chosen’ or ‘desired,’ yet I now see that being single can be fulfilling.”
Comparing Happiness Levels
The findings about paired women reveal intriguing insights. Research indicates that while relationships generally bring benefits to men, women require both relationship quality and stability for similar rewards. Dr. Jess O’Reilly, a relationship expert, notes that men often derive significant social support primarily from their partners, while women are more likely to maintain diverse social networks.
Moreover, studies show women undertake a larger share of domestic duties in relationships, from cooking to household chores, further complicating satisfaction levels in coupled lives. Therefore, it’s essential to understand that the overall quality of a relationship significantly impacts women’s happiness.
Research also highlighted that women without children in their 40s are the happiest demographic, a fact that astonished many at a literary festival. Men’s reactions highlighted their discomfort with this assertion, demonstrating the societal conditioning that ties men’s happiness closely to traditional family structures.
Since the release of Power’s book, numerous married women have reached out to express a longing for certain aspects of singlehood. One shared that she and her husband take separate vacations—highlighting a common need for personal space even in intimate relationships.
Facing Challenges of Singledom
However, being single does present challenges. Toronto-based writer Charlotte Herrold, who has been single since her long-term relationship ended, discusses financial hardships. “Before my breakup, I considered buying a house, but my single status now makes housing costs daunting.”
Additionally, feelings of exclusion can arise in social situations, particularly in a city like Toronto where many peers are married with children. After spending time in Los Angeles, Herrold noted a significant increase in emotional support when surrounding herself with other single women in their 40s.
Ultimately, while Herrold still envisions a future partner, she experiences less societal pressure now that she has passed the symbolic milestone of 40, embracing a lifestyle free from traditional timelines.
Insights on Men’s Singlehood
Relationships beyond romantic interests significantly affect single women’s satisfaction levels, propelled by robust social networks. “Women tend to foster richer connections with friends and family,” remarked Hoan—contrasting this with the loneliness often felt by single men, especially as societal conventions shift post-MeToo.
Challenges prevail for single men, too, as they often grapple with societal stigma surrounding their status. The ‘manosphere’ has become a refuge for some, following the misguided philosophies of figures like Andrew Tate, who espouses antiquated gender norms that fail to acknowledge the complexities of contemporary relationships.
Shifting Perspectives Across Generations
Power acknowledges the imperfections of single life but suggests that it offers opportunities that previous generations may have envied. She highlights the increased financial independence women today enjoy, in stark contrast to earlier generations who often felt compelled to marry for economic survival.
Although financial equality remains elusive—Canadian women earn 84 cents for every dollar earned by men—Power believes that her modern autonomy grants her privileges unimaginable to the women of past eras.
Younger generations are also experiencing this paradigm shift. According to a 2024 Tinder survey, Gen Z women prioritize independence and personal growth, indicating that marriage is no longer a primary goal. A significant 51% of surveyed individuals indicated they prefer to focus on their personal aspirations, reframing what connection means in a rapidly changing landscape.
As relationships and societal expectations continue to evolve, the hope is that individuals—regardless of gender or romantic status—can lead fulfilling lives. “Relationship quality is the key to life quality,” concludes O’Reilly. “This perspective applies to all forms of relationships.”
Power advocates for an inclusive approach to forming connections—a reminder that individuality in desires and needs is celebrated rather than stigmatized. “It’s wonderful to realize that we can navigate life on our own terms.”
